Caffeina

The shower has not been used for awhile.
When I pull on the knob that pulls out the water,
It’s as if there’s nothing behind it.
And so I pull harder and harder and the water
Shifts in the pipes and I hear a great thump
Like a guillotine, and the water falls and begins to
Pump.
And it pumps and it winds and revolves behind
The tile wall and I imagine someone
Breathing there, cold and afraid,
Parallel to me, above the drain.
And the water only sputters heat, but
Still I step in and let the water
Run
And there I’m left wondering
How much he feels for me,
Whether there’s another.
I stare ahead at the tile wall
And remind myself we are not together,
We were never together. Cold and afraid,
I want him
To want me so bad
That I turn up the heat and the pipes obey,
Scorching me, knowing they
Will soon grow weary as I
Stand,
Facing them, and when they release
I’ll step out all new and pink,
And then they'll go cold again,
Heaving, sputtering.

---